Archive for March, 2010

Sludge Raises Health Concerns

Should We Even Have To Ask?

Tonight I took time to do some research.  I reread an article about sludge spreading at an NC schools. The title of the article, “North Carolina City Asked to Stop Sludge Spreading Near Schools.” I repeat, “North Carolina City ASKED to  Stop SLUDGE SPREADING Near Schools.” Are you kidding me? Why in the blue hell should a city have to ask officials to stop the spreading of TOXIC waste near schools? This is even more proof of how…I don’t even think there is a word to describe the mindset of the “powers” that be. If they see nothing wrong with spreading sludge near or even on school grounds my god what else have they done for the love of a dollar?

We shouldn’t have to ask for sludge spreading to stop. We dang sure shouldn’t have to ask them to not spread it near schools. The affects of being exposed to sludge can be fatal; we know this to be fact. If we are armed with this knowledge why is sludge still being spread? I dare someone who’s spreading sludge or allowing spreading to continue to answer the question.

I’m not even going to ramble on because I think the title speaks for itself. What have we become as humans? Greedy ravenous critters dressed in suits. Shameful.

Dear Mr. President Obama

Dear President Obama,

I understand you may be looking to replace Rahm Emanuel as your chief of staff.

I would like to humbly offer myself, yours truly, as his replacement.

I will come to D.C. and clean up the mess that’s been created around you. I will work for $1 a year. I will help the Dems on Capitol Hill find their spines and I will teach them how to nonviolently beat the Republicans to a pulp.

And I will help you get done what the American people sent you there to do. I don’t need much, just a cot in the White House basement will do.

Now, don’t get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, seven days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day (see photo). Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me:


Then we will put on our jogging sweats and run up to Capitol Hill. We will take names, kick butts, and then take some more names. If we have to give a few noogies or half-nelson’s, then so be it. In our pockets we will have a piece of paper to show the pansy Dems just how much they won by in 2008 — and the poll results that show the majority of Americans oppose the Afghanistan and Iraq wars and want the bankers punished. Like drill sergeants, we will get right up in their faces and ask them, “WHAT PART OF THE PUBLIC MANDATE DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND, SOLDIER?!! DROP AND GIVE ME 50!”

I know this is the job Rahm Emanuel was supposed to be doing.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have always admired Rahm Emanuel (if you don’t count his getting NAFTA pushed through Congress in the ’90s which destroyed towns like Flint, Michigan. I know, picky-picky.). He is what we needed for a long time — a no-apologies, take-no-prisoners fighting machine. Someone who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and pound the right wing into submission. Far from being the foul-mouthed bully he has been portrayed as, Rahm is the one who BEAT UP the bullies to protect us from them.

That’s certainly what he did in 2006. After six long, miserable years of the middle-class getting slaughtered and the poor being flushed down the toilet, Rahm Emanuel took on the job of returning Congress to the Democrats. No one believed it could be done.

But he did it. Big time. He put the fear of God into the party of Rush and Newt. They had never been so scared. More importantly, though, he instilled a sense of hope in the Democrats that they could actually score the mother of all hat tricks in 2008 — and with you, an African American no less, in the pole position!

It worked. The Darkness ended. The vast majority of the nation wept with joy on the night of the election (those who weren’t weeping went out and bought a record number of guns and ammo). Unlike the last president, you didn’t “win” by 537 votes in Florida (although Gore won the popular vote by a half-million), you beat McCain nationally by 9,522,083 votes! The House Democrats got a walloping 79-vote margin. The Senate Dems would caucus with a supermajority of 60 votes unheard of in over 30 years. The wars would now end. America would have universal health care. Wall Street and the banks would, at the very least, be reined in. Hardworking citizens would not be thrown out of their homes. It was supposed to be the dawning of a new age.

But the Republicans were not going to go quietly into the night. You see, instead of having just one Rahm Emanuel, they are ALL Rahm Emanuels. That’s why they usually win. Unlike most Democrats, they are relentless and unstoppable. When they believe in something (which is usually themselves and the K Street job they hope to be rewarded with someday), they’ll fight for it till the death. They are loyal to a fault to each other (they were never able to denounce Bush, even though they knew he was destroying the party). They dig their heels in deep no matter what. If you exiled them to a lone chunk of melting polar ice cap, they would keep insisting that it was just a normal “January thaw,” even as the frigid Arctic waters rose above their God-fearing necks (“See what I mean — this water is COLD! What ‘global warming‘?! Adam and Eve rode dinos…aagghh!!… gulp gulp gulp”).

We thought we were all done with this craziness, but we were mistaken. Like a beast that you just can’t cage, the Republicans convinced not only the media, but YOU and your fellow Dems, that 59 votes was a minority! Precious time was lost trying to reach a “consensus” and trying to be “bipartisan.”

Well, you and the Democrats have been in charge now for over a year and not one banking regulation has been reinstated. We don’t have universal health care. The war in Afghanistan has escalated. And tens of thousands of Americans continue to lose their jobs and be thrown out of their homes. For most of us, it’s just simply no longer good enough that Bush is gone. Woo hoo. Bush is gone. Yippee. That hasn’t created one new friggin’ job.

You’re such a good guy, Mr. President. You came to Washington with your hand extended to the Republicans and they just chopped it off. You wanted to be respectful and they decided that they were going to say “no” to everything you suggested. Yet, you kept on saying you still believed in bipartisanship.

Well, if you really want bipartisanship, just go ahead and let the Republicans win in November. Then you’ll get all the bipartisanship you want.

Let me be clear about one thing: The Democrats on Election Day 2010 are going to get an ass-whoopin’ of biblical proportions if things don’t change right now. And after the new Republican majority takes over, they, along with a few conservative Democrats in Congress, will get to bipartisanly impeach you for being a socialist and a citizen of Kenya. How nice to see both sides of the aisle working together again!

And the brief window we had to fix this country will be gone.


Gone, baby, gone.

I don’t know what your team has been up to, but they haven’t served you well. And Rahm, poor Rahm, has turned into a fighter — not of Republicans, but of the left. He called those of us who want universal health care “f***ing retarded.” Look, I don’t know if Rahm is the problem or if it’s Gibbs or Axelrod or any of the other great people we owe a debt of thanks to for getting you elected. All I know is that whatever is fueling your White House it’s now running on fumes. Time to shake things up! Time to bring me in to get you pumped up every morning! Go Barack! Yay Obama! Fight, Team, Fight!

I’m packed and ready to come to D.C. tomorrow. If it helps, you won’t really be losing Rahm entirely because I’ll be bringing his brother with me — my agent, Ari Emanuel. Man, you should see HIM negotiate a deal! Have you ever wanted to see Mitch McConnell walking around Capitol Hill carrying his own head in his hands after it’s just been handed to him by the infamous Ari? Oh, baby, it won’t be pretty — but boy will it be sweet!

What say you, Barack? Me and you against the world! Yes we can! It’ll be fun — and we may just get something done. Whaddaya got to lose? Hope?

Retardedly yours,
Michael Moore

P.S. Just to give you an idea of the new style I’ll be bringing with me, when a cornhole like Sen. Ben Nelson tries to hold you up next time, this is what I will tell him in order to get his vote: “You’ve got exactly 30 seconds to rescind your demand or I will personally make sure that Nebraska doesn’t get one more federal dollar for the rest of Obama’s term. And then I will let everyone in your state know that you wear Sooner panties, backwards. NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 50!”

The Oblongs

I’ve always liked cartoons. As a kid I watched Jem, Ninja Turtles, Strawberry Shortcake, Lady Lovely Locks, The Huggabunch, Tiny Toon Adventures, Doug, Rugrats, and many more. As I got older I still watched the same toons and added on new ones like Family Guy, Robot Chicken, King of the Hill, Daria, American Dad, and The Oblongs. Most of the shows are now in syndication so I catch them on Adult Swim late at night. Well, The Oblongs happened to be on one night at 1am. The opening credits played and I thought to myself, “My god if North Carolina doesn’t get it together we’re gonna be like the Oblongs.”

As strange as the Oblongs are they are victims of toxic waste. Though the show is meant for entertainment for countless people across the United States, it’s not funny. The affects of sludge spreading are taking the toll on our citizens. It’s no secret that cancer rates are on the rise in North Carolina and as our doctors and researchers stand dumbfounded the environmentalists are waving the proof frantically, but is anyone really listening and reading? If people are eating right, exercising, and avoiding other unhealthy habits, but still getting sick shouldn’t a red light and siren go off screaming, “SOMETHING AIN’T RIGHT!”

It’s time we start taking a SERIOUS non-bias look at our environmental status. Put your political affiliations, favors, greed, pride, and ego to the side and wake the fuck up! (yeah I said it) We cannot allow companies such as LabCorp, Synagro, and others to continue the improper disposal of medical waste. Stop blaming the pigs…there is no odor in the air so we know it’s not the piggies. Stop tricking farmers into sludge spreading. Guess what geniuses? YOU EAT THE PRODUCE FROM THEIR FIELDS! YOU DRINK THE SAME DAMN WATER AS EVERYONE ELSE!

And it’s going to take everyday citizens to stand up and say, “NO!” I’m so happy to see people in Virginia taking a stand against the uranium mine. It’s time for us North Carolinians to band together and write blogs, comment on news articles, write to our senators, write to our governor, hell write to the president. Who cares if they don’t respond to you personally; the point is they read it!

I don’t know about any of you, but I feel like my 3-5 days per week in the gym mixed with my healthy eating habits are a waste of my time and effort if my air, water, and soil are contaminated. Sure, my chances of survival are higher than a person who doesn’t do this, but I shouldn’t have to second guess drinking water from the tap (actually I don’t do it at all). I shouldn’t have to cringe bathing in water that hasn’t been run through a Brita filter. We should be able to enjoy North Carolina’s lakes and beaches. We should relax on our back porches sipping Duplin wine and other NC brands with absolutely no worries. We should drink Red Oak and Natty Green’s other NC beers with the same worry free mind.

There is NO pride in being dubbed the Cancer State. There is NO pride in having all these cancer facilities because we have so many cancer patients. There is NO pride in having gov’t officials that allow this crap to continue. Our state toast is as follows:

Here’s to the land of the long leaf pine,
The summer land where the sun doth shine,
Where the weak grow strong and the strong grow great,
Here’s to “Down Home,” the Old North State!

Here’s to the land of the cotton bloom white,
Where the scuppernong perfumes the breeze at night,
Where the soft southern moss and jessamine mate,
‘Neath the murmuring pines of the Old North State!

Here’s to the land where the galax grows,
Where the rhododendron’s rosette glows,
Where soars Mount Mitchell’s summit great,
In the “Land of the Sky,” in the Old North State!

Here’s to the land where maidens are fair,
Where friends are true and cold hearts rare,
The near land, the dear land, whatever fate,
The blest land, the best land, the Old North State!

I look at the Old North State and shake my head in a myriad of emotions. We have a beautiful state with a rich history and we are destroying it. Our gov’t officials ought to be ashamed and embarrassed.

Again it’s time to wake the fuck up or we’re going to be like The Oblongs.

Miss North Carolina USA

I’ve been following pageants since I was a kid and when I turned 15 I competed in my first pageant (I won). Since then I’ve competed in other pageants (and won a few), judged, coach, and directed. I jokingly pride myself in being able to rattle off random pageant facts and being really good at picking the top 10, top 5, winners, and runner-ups.

Last November NC USA crowned a new queen; Nadia Moffett. I had the honor of crowing her Miss Black and Gold 2005. Even in rehearsals she and another contestant had a spark that made them standout just a bit more above the other contestants. I always want the best for my pageant ladies and love to see them succeed. So of course when I received the phone call that she won the title it was a celebration! My friend (fellow pageant lady, Adrienne Perry) and I jumped up and down in the hotel room screaming, “SHE WON! SHE WON! WE’RE GOING TO VEGAS! OMG! OMG!”

Since November I’ve been watching Nadia travel the “road to Vegas.” I have never seen a queen with a state title do what she is doing. Does this mean there hasn’t been a queen doing it? No, it just means that in my 10+years of watching and being involved in pageants I have NEVER seen a queen with a state title do what she is doing. So, what is she doing? The question should be what is she NOT doing. Gracious, Nadia is a busy woman! Seriously, she is making appearances, speeches, being a gym-rat, visiting schools promoting her platform, and I think she sleeps (not sure).

Her foundation, The Make Me a Queen Foundation is much needed in today’s society. Our young ladies are constantly bombarded with conflicting images and delusional images. It would be nice if we could all live like the Kardashians (I’m still not sure what the hype is about). It would be even better to be praised for portraying a mindless doll like Nikki Minaj. And it would be beyond great to live a life like Beyonce; no matter what you do or don’t do you’ll get paid and have thousands of fans that will buy your records, go to your concerts, and defend you after you perform for a terrorist’s son. But the reality is we can’t, but Nadia’s foundation is showing young ladies what they CAN do. It’s not a week long visit to a school, nope, just one day…approximately 2hrs; that’s all it takes. In that little amount of time they receive vital information and inspiration that will stay with them for a life time.

I could ramble on and on about everything Nadia is doing, but here’s a summary:

-Inspiring Young Women through Empowerment-
Make Me A Queen Foundation: a program Nadia co-founded with Nicole Lowery to inspire young women to reach their maximum potential in life. She will be offering this program through various capacities for teen girls to select cities in the state of North Carolina. If you are interested in learning more, please email Nadia at

Breast and Ovarian Cancer Advocacy
Nadia will be volunteering through the Winston-Salem affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure, to support awareness.
She will be assisting in multiple awareness initiatives throughout the state and hosting a Team for this year’s Race for the Cure in Winston Salem on May 1, 2010! Stay tuned for details to be on Miss NC USA’s team at this year’s race, or a race in your area!

-Advocacy of Higher Education and Student Success-
Nadia will be visiting the schools of North Carolina! This year, Nadia will reach out to the youth to inspire success and endless possibilities. If you would like Miss NC USA to come visit your school for a class, event or student body address, please visit to submit a request. She would love to come!

-Junior Achievement Volunteer Teacher-
Nadia has been a volunteer teacher in the Guilford County schools system for 2 years. Now, as Miss NC USA, she will continue advocating higher education and success of student though teaching Middle School students this spring on Economics for Success. To learn more about Junior Achievement, and how to request a volunteer teacher for your class, visit!

-Preparing for Miss USA!-
Nadia will be preparing for Miss USA in Spring 2010. Make sure to tune into NBC, live from Planet Hollywood Las Vegas to support Miss NC USA for the title! Woo Hoo!


Regardless of the outcome of the Miss USA pageant, I believe Nadia will go down in pageant history. It’s not her looks. It’s not that fact that I know her personally. It’s her work ethic, persistence, and dedication to making a difference.

For more information, and for contestant information closer to the pageant, please visit
If you would like to contact Miss North Carolina USA, you may do so through the PRM Productions Pageant office at

RPM Productions, Inc.
541 Holley Lake Road
Aiken, SC 29803

803.643.4643 (fax)

You may also contact Nadia at

Click below to follow her on Twitter!